Pilot admits: It was me who talked to Duterte as God

From So What’s News: “Pilot: It Was Me Who Talked to Duterte 

“MANILA, Philippines — The pilot of the Tokyo-Manila flight that President Duterte and his entourage took revealed today that it was him all along who spoke to the president concerning his colorful vocabulary.

TOKYO, JAPAN - JANUARY 25: (CHINA OUT, SOUTH KOREA OUT) The new chairman of public broadcaster Japan Broadcasting Corp. (NHK) Katsuto Momii speaks during a press conference on January 25, 2014 in Tokyo, Japan. The news conference in Tokyo on Jan. 25 was intended to mark Katsuto Momii's appointment to the top post at NHK, but he instead raised eyebrows by defending the wartime 'comfort women' system, criticizing South Korea, pushing Japan's territorial claims, and downplaying opposition against the state secrets protection law. (Photo by The Asahi Shimbun via Getty Images)
Photo by The Asahi Shimbun via Getty Images)

(photo rightclicked from So What’s News used here non-commercially for academic purposes)

(Blog admin’s note: Background: From Reuters: “Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte has promised to stop swearing, saying God spoke to him on a flight from Japan on Thursday, warning him the plane would crash if he kept using bad language. xxx (Duterte) said he heard a voice and realised it was God, telling him to clean up his act. xxx “I was looking at the skies while I was coming over here … everybody was asleep, snoring, but a voice said that, ‘you know, if you don’t stop epithets, I will bring this plane down now’,” Duterte said at a news conference late on Thursday upon arrival in his home city of Davao. xxx “And I said, ‘who is this?’ So, of course, it’s God. OK.xxx “So, I promise God … not to express slang, cuss words and everything.”)

“Yes, it was me,” Pilot-In Command Capt. Jean-Luc Piccard said. “I thought that it was a long shot and I never imagined it to work.”

“Everybody was asleep and snoring when I decided to try something drastic,” narrated the pilot. “I started talking on the microphone and told him that he needs to stop.”

According to Capt. Piccard, he forgot to properly introduced himself with a “this is your captain speaking” spiel before addressing the president but he never intended to impersonate the almighty God. “It was only the president who assumed that he was talking to God.”

Capt. Piccard also pointed out that any sane person would assume that it was the pilot speaking inside an airplane full of sleeping passengers instead of a higher being.

“I mean, who in their right mind would also believe that God would really be so insensitive and bring the whole plane down, risking the lives of other innocent people on-board?!?!” Capt. Piccard hysterically asked. “Shouldn’t he rerevalidate his hunch with his cabinet first before believing it and promising never to cuss again?”

“I mean, how hard was it to wake Andanar up and asked him whether or not he heard my voice too?” he said, adding that if only he knew that Duterte would take it at face value, he would’ve been more specific in telling him that it was the extra judicial killings that must stop.

Capt. Piccard also believes that it would only be a matter of time before President Duterte would go back to his cursing ways now that he has come clean.

“I mean, even without my revelation today, you don’t actually think he’d stick to his promise right?” he added. “Well, at least he didn’t curse when he got back from Japan.” ” 

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    (The article above is from the witty authors of So What’s News)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! MATAGAL PA ANG APRIL FOOLS DAY.

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