The CBCP*  said tonight that it was disgusted with the Reproductive Health Bill vote rejecting the Garcia amendment and the amendment itself.

      Addressing anti-RH bill solons, its spokesperson said, “Aren’t you aware of the latest  pronouncement  of the CBCP? The proposed amendment that reproductive health services  be made available

“to all married persons” , from the original “to all persons”  is incomplete,  and betrays an infantile understanding of the latest expression of Catholic doctrine.  We have just endorsed “Breaking Dawn 2” of the “Twilight” series. Please read our favourable review  and endorsement of the movie published  in our website and  reported by the news media.  Don’t you read the newspapers  and  look at the internet?  That proposed amendment should have read:  “to all married persons and vampires,  ghouls, zombies, incubus, banshees,  aswangs  without prejudice to the inclusion of werewolves, elves, dwarves, and  mummies”.

     The CBCP*   spokesperson added, “Henceforth, all who refer to said creatures as the undead shall be excommunicated. It is a form of prejudice which the CBCP shall  not countenance. The undead from now on shall be referred to as “differently alive” ,  “living impaired” , “ or “living challenged” , in keeping with our sensitivity to their condition. Why should they continue to bear the yoke of 500 years oppression of vampires? Equal rights for the differently alive.”

     The CBCP* said it will issue a new set of instructions this week.

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* CBCP: Catholics for Bampira Conference of the Philippines