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Hello, Hottie

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    So, we were in conference and the person presiding wasn’t very methodical,  and there was a lot of small talk, and they  actually asked me to drive out here and listen  while they think of something to talk about, (when I’m presiding consult-meetings, I prepare, I even have the estimated number of minutes per item in the agenda because i value other people’s time and I direct all small talk to be tabled at the end and you have endless time for that, endless,  but only at the end, after business, and I  present only matters for decision and approval, in other words, contentious issues and unsettled questions for consult-meets; but matters for information, non-momentous announcements, for bragging, for heralding, news, developments, I pass around earlier in notes and memos, or you can mention them and point to  memos you passed around then move on; unless they’re big pep meetings where you have to “rally the forces”, rah-rah, then you do the big announcements; but for consult-meets, matters for information and announcement, non-apocalyptic ones,  don’t have to be discussed from head to foot unless they involve preparations that have to be decided upon; anyway)  and so, towards the small talk, someone brought up some matter and asked what we thought, and the older lawyer without batting an eyelash heralded his opinion   with economic provisions of the Constitution and said of course we should demand this and demand that, but didn’t give the specific remedy on how to “enforce” those demands; just declaring this and that motherhood statement in the Constitution.  So, I just let him.

 

            Then, they look at me.

 

            I said….

            so here it is….

            I said:

 

             “I need to see the policy form you signed.”

 

            Where is it?

              I need to read it.

            Nobody brought it.

 

             And that was my legal opinion. I don’t give legal opinions on contracts and policy forms (contracts of adhesion) and special laws and agreements unless I’ve read them. Even off-the-cuff, even on small talk, even casually —  I don’t.

          I need to read what you signed, silly.

 

        For public interest issues where the essential facts are known through news events and do not involve contracts and agreements, yes,  off-the-cuff, you’ll get something. And if you give me enough time, I’ll even look up the specific cases.

 

        But if you signed something, I have to read it. I will not regale you with constitutional provisions that are not legally demandable. Yes, po, the economic provisions of the Constitution, those motherhood statements po, are not legally demandable po (not legally demandable  means you cannot go to court and ask the court to issue a mandatory injunction for the government to pay your bills, for you, just because the Constitution has these motherhood statements on economic policies); only the Bill of Rights are legally demandable by themselves, by certiorari, without need of enabling legislation — but….. I just kept quiet and said:

 

       “I need to see the policy form you signed.”

 

        And that’s the difference between a person who practises and a person who doesn’t — gosh, did i just say that — I’m such an asshole, aren’t i. I’m a jackass. I’m a stupefying jerk  when it comes to older lawyers who speak in very loud voices exhorting constitutional provisions when they never  won a single injunction case let alone a criminal or civil case  — okay, STOP!!!! STOP IT YOU FOOL (me). I will stop here, I’m being an arrogant, little twerp, it’s  35 degrees centigrade outside in the streets, real hot,  I’m being a pipsqueak, it’s the sizzler outside, not me. Ngek.

   

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